Australia outlaws ‘Grand Theft Auto’
Associated Press
SYDNEY, Australia – Australian officials effectively banned the computer game “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” and ordered it removed from stores Friday because it contains hidden sex scenes that can be viewed with a special Internet download.
The Office of Film and Literature Classification said in a statement it had outlawed sales of the game by stripping it of its official classification after learning of the explicit content.
“Revocation of a classification means the computer game cannot be legally sold, hired, advertised or exhibited in Australia from the date the decision is made,” the statement said.
“Businesses that sell or hire computer games should remove existing stocks of this game from their shelves immediately,” said Des Clark, director of the government-funded classification board.
The game involves a main character seeking bloody vengeance on gang-filled streets, firing automatic weapons and picking up women along the way.
After downloading and installing a modification to the game – one of many “mods” available on Web sites maintained by video game enthusiasts – a new world opens up in which the girlfriends appear nude and engage in explicit sex acts, according to the modification’s author.
The classification board in October 2004 gave the game a MA15+ rating, meaning it could be sold only to people aged over age 15, and warned that it contained “medium level animated violence, medium level coarse language.”
On Friday, Clark advised parents to be on the alert for their children accessing the explicit scenes.
“Parents are strongly advised to exercise caution in allowing children continued access to the game,” he said – particularly if they have access to the Internet modification.
Two things wrong with this:
1. Does this mean that every R rated movie ought to be banned as well, because it contains some semblance of sex somewhere.
2. That last line… the word “children”… Why is it that the gaming industry is the only one that rates content from the perspective of children? This is an “M” rated game – it should never be in the hands of children to begin with. Just like an “R” rated movie never ought to be in the hands of children. To treat it as if it were in the possession of children is ridiculous.
Furthermore, and I shall never understand this: decapitating someone with a chainsaw is considered worse than sex? Oh dear. Finally: this content is not accessible in-game. If they ban GTA, they might as well ban all video games and movies out there, as one can always find a way to insert content that would turn otherwise innocent content (The Sims, Teletubbies) into some kind of sex orgy.
Comments
One response to “Australia Outlaws GTA”
I wish i were an american.
Please god, if ever i were to be re-incarnated, i know americans aren’t perfect, but please god, show mercy.
GTA:SA, yep, banned. what for you ask? well, y’know that hidden content that’s, ahh, well, hidden? and you know how you can download that hot coffee mod to unlock these, hidden features?
DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!! R RATED MATERIAL!!! KIDS COULD SEE THIS!! AND IT WILL ENDANGER THEIR LIVES!! GOD FORBID IF THEY SAW ANIMATED SEX IN THE FORM OF CLEVERLY ANIMATED PIXELS/POLYGONS!!! THE OFLC WOULD RATHER KIDS WATCH DVD R RATED PORN IN THEIR DVD PLAYERS/DVD ROMS!! NOW THERE’S THE REAL SHIT!! BITCH!
hahahah, y’know what’s funny about this whole sherade?
apart from the australian government being gay part, oh and living in australia being gay, because of the government, oh shit and don’t forget being an australian which means i have to live side by side with other fellow australians who are seriously mentally challenged in every fuckin possible way imagined, and so they go along with the government and it’s plans/legislation/rules/regulations because if they think about it for two long or try to challenge their powers/authority, they’ll get a brain freeze, it’d be like too much strain on the brain.
well the Office of Film and Literature Classification (OFLC for short) had originally slapped an MA15+ rating on gta:sa, banning of course kids under the age of 15 from purchasing/playing or even viewing the game and it’s content, which is fair enough i guess, and now that this whole ‘Coffee Mod allows you to see gangsters and ho’s having sex’ thing came along, FRIGHT NIGHT they screamed! we must revoke the distribution and/or sale of this game as well as any media attention such as advertising IMMEDIATELY in australia! against australians! or else!
The reasoning? (HA! like they need one? their the OFLC and they suck the fuckin cock balls of the muther fuckin congessman/politicans, and vice-versa)
well, kids may accidentally play/see this brutal content! that’s the apparent reasoning.
hahah, i know what ya thinking.
here i’ll spell it out for the fucking pigs ass sucking fucking LIMP DICK no-cock government and gay-arse-rootin-poofter-pooing OFLC!!!
WHAT ARE KIDS DOING SUCK MY COCK CUNTS BIATCH SLAP RAPE GAY WANKERING PLAYING BREAK THE CLIT FUCKIN PIMPIN SLUT BITCH WANKER SLAPPING NO CIRCUMSITION PERIOD BLEEDIN GTA:SA ANYWAY? PUSS BITCH HUGE MAMMA FUCKIN CUNT SLUT 4x TIMES RAPE HELLO? CUM DRIPPIN HO BOOMING PUSSY EATING MA15+ RATING MEANS NO KIDS PLAYING!!!! BOMB CUNT FUCK FUCK THE PUSS!!!!!!!!!
ok ok, apologies for the peeps just tuning in, if you wanted the non profanity/sacrilege version, just read all the ‘non bold-text’, makes it easier. or read below, words copied and pasted for presentable translation:
“What are kids doing playing GTA:SA anyway? Hello? MA15+ Rating means no kids playing”
point?
anyone that’s 15yrs old, or older? already knows more than their parents and/or eldars about most taboo topics, INCLUDING SEX! i mean they could explain, in great length, if you mentioned the words, “GIVE-and-TAKE” or “Cowgirl” or “Dirty Sanchez”! yes folks, sex positions.
and no, they don’t wanna hear the “bees and birds” story, they’d rather learn more about the “Lions and Lionesses story”.
they couldn’t give a fuck anyway! they’d rather race straight in their room after ‘momy and dady’ tell their story and turn on their brand new IBM or Packard bell, ahh, or Dell, or Gateway, or whatever fuckin machine daddy bought them, (haha, bad choice on his part, hey he didn’t know what he was getting into, yeah well, suckers will always stay suckers, MUWHAAAHAHAA!!) and then hidden under that book, or in that place in the cupboard, or under the bed, they’ll grab ‘that just’ bought copy of “ASIAN HOOKERS 21”, or “JENNA HAZE: I’M ONLY 18”, or even, “THE RUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE: THE REAL-LIFE STORY OF CLASSIUS CLAY AND WHAT HE DID WITH HIS BITCHES AND HO’S”, and they’ll stick it in, and watch it.
y’know what? they prolly already know what SNUFF is! furthermore…
there’ve prolly acted in a few snuff films, i mean, harmless fun right? a 15yr old, who fucks his 33 yr ‘ol mum, and then once their done, he stabs her repeatedly until she dies a horrible death.
there ya go, you’ve got INCEST, UNDER AGE PORN and MURDER rolled up into the one film? haha brilliant.
laugh at that one OFLC, y’know what? better yet, cry me a river dick fucks!!
phew, really getting off track. what started off as a straight forward “point out the obvious” email, has turned into this long dribbled up rant about kids, porn and murder, in no particular order. scary.
hahahahha..
ok now to the real point, (as if i haven’t been making points..), the OFLC body doesn’t like kids seeing naked homosapians and doesn’t like them seeing homosapians having sex with other homosapians or better yet, sex at all. which is kinda fair and ethical and morale and all that bull shit, however their justification for a banning over hidden “porn” content is firstly quite retarded, secondly absolutely insane/ridiculous/profanely subjectural/co-herently in-co-herent/did i mention retarded and lastly fucked up!
Why?
well, jeez… ahh, lost for words..
no! i got it, ok here it is…. you ready?
STARTING UP GTA:SA, LOAD GAME, OK HERE I GO!
DECAPITATING AN INOCENT BY-STANDER’S HEAD OFF WITH A FUCKIN CHAINSAW!!!
THEN GETTING IN THE CAR AND RUNNING OVER THE BODY A FEW TIMES!!!!!!
THEN SHOOTING IT REPEATEDLY WITH AN AK47 WHILST ALSO GIVING IN TO ALL THAT ANGST BY GOING ON A SHOOTING SPREE KILLING OFF EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING THAT HAS LIFE TO IT!!!!
AND THEN..
THE AMBULANCES/POLICE/FIRE BRIGADE, THE WHOLE FUCKIN KIT ‘N’ CABOODLE ARRIVES, I WAIT IN THE BUSHES, I DESICEVLY CHOOSE MY GET AWAY VEHICLE!!!!
YEP, I CHOOSE THE PEOPLE SAVING AMBO’S!!!
AND AS THE AMBO’S STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE, I LET’M HAVE WITH WITH MY GOD DAMN FUCKIN ILLEGAL FLAME THROWER BURNING THEIR FAT ASSES INTO A CRISP!!!!!!!! (I WONDER IF I CAN COULD EAT THE REMAINS, Y’KNOW? CANNABILISM, YEAH PROBABLY COULD, IT IS GTA:SA AFTER ALL!!)
THEN, I TAKE OFF IN THE AMBO CAR SIRENS A SCREAMING, PURPOSELY DRIVING ON THE FOOT PATH AND IN PARKS, AND CAR PARKS AND ON-TOP OF FUCKIN ROOFS, AND UP LADDERS IF I CAN, IN THE VAIN HOPE OF KILLING OFF ANYONE THAT’S SURVIVED THE CARNAGE EARLIER!!!!!! (HAHHA, CAN’T LEAVE ANYONE ALIVE, MUST KILL’M ALL IT IS GTA:SA AFTER ALL!!!)
HEADING TO THE MILITARY BASE, (GATES ALREADY OPEN) I RACE THROUGH, NO SECURITY CHECKS THANK GOD, JUST AN AVALANCHE OF RESCUE AND LAW ENFORCEMENT SERVICES ON MY ASS (WAIT!!! THIS IS SOUNDING LIFE LIKE, I MEAN, YOU DO THE CRIME, YOU DO THE TIME RIGHT? THAT’S IF THEY CAN CATCH ME, OR BETTER YET, STOP ME!! MUUHUHUHWAWAWAAAAAA!!!!!)
ONCE INSIDE, EXITS VEHICLE!!
I RACE OUT ONTO ONE OF THE RUNWAYS WITH KEYS IN POCKET TO GET INTO THAT ATTACK HELICOPTER JUST SITTING THEIR ON THE HELI-PAD (WAIT A MINUTE, WHY HAVE I GOT KEYS TO THIS HUMAN/LIFE KILLIN CHOPPER? OH SHIT, GTA:SA! OF COURSE) START THE CHOPPER I DO, NO WAIT I CHECK THE WEAPONS PAYLOAD FIRST, YEP GOOD TO GO!!
ONCE IN FLIGHT, LAYING WASTE TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT LOOKS LIKE IT’S GOT MOMENTUM/THRUST TO IT, YES HUMAN LIFE!! YES VEHICLES!! YES EVEN THE OTHER CHOPPER’S AND ANIMAL LIFE FLYING AROUND AT THE SAME ALTITUDE!!
NEARING SMALL CUT-OUT VERSION OF LAS VEGAS, THE AIM? TO MASSACRE EVERYONE, MUUHWUAHWUAAA!!! I WANNA BE THE LAST PERSON ON THIS PLANET!!!
DEATH COUNT SO FAR YOU ASK? WELL, 600 MALES, 742 FEMALES, 12 HOOKERS, 16 GANG FACTIONS AND 29 BUMS OH AND I’VE TAKEN OUT JUST ABOUT ANYTHING WITH AN ENGINE, SO A FUCKIN LOT OF SHIT OK? NO IT’S NOT OK, I’M NOT DONE YET!!
SEEING ONE OF THE CASINO’S IN SIGHT, I MOVE TOWARDS IT, ANGER AND LIMITLESS BRUTALITY IN MIND AS WELL AS OTHER GAMER’S MINDS FOR THE OFLC!! SO WHERE JUSTICE IS NEEDED, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED!!
EWW YEAH BABY!! KAMAKAZI STYLE I’M GANNA PLOUGH STRAIGHT INTO THIS MUTHER FUCKER!! Y’KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I CAN!! IT’S GTA:SA AFTER ALL, OH AND ALSO CAUSE AUSTRALIA BANNED ONLINE GAMBLING!!! DUMB FUCKS!!!
REVENGE IS SO SWEAT!!!! EVEN IF THIS IS SOME CASINO IN AMERICA OUTSIDE OF AUSTRALIA, WHY SHOULD I PUNISH THEM IF AUSTRALIA IS THE COUNTRY OF MY CURRENT EXISTENCE AND WHERE ONLINE GAMBLING IS ILLEGAL? DON’T KNOW, I GUESS JOHNY HOWARD FUCK’S BUSH’S ASS SO MUCH, WHY NOT? IF I CAN’T GAMBLE ONLINE! NO ONE’S GANNA GAMBLE, PERIOD! SOUND REASONABLE? DON’T CARE! IM GANNA KILL ME’A SOME PEOPLE ANYWAY!!! BESIDES, I AM IN, A SOUGHT OF VIRTUAL WORLD, A GAME IF YOU WILL? WHERE I CAN’T REALLY LAY HARM TO ANYONE, WELL, LAST TIME I CHECK ANYWAY!! PLUS IT’S GTA:SA, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO BREAK THE LAW AND KILL PEOPLE AND GET AWAY WITH IT, AFTER ALL IT’S GTA:SA AND THE DEVELOPERS HAVE DEVELOPED IT THAT WAY, AS LONG AS THERE’S NO SEX OR NUDITY, IT’LL BE FINE, NO REALLY, THE OFLC DOESN’T MIND!!
BAM! WHAM! CRUNCH! SMASH! EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE!!! FINALLY MY DEMISE HAS ARRIVED!!
BUT I NEVER THOUGHT IT’D BE MET WITH THOUSANDS OF DEATHS, SO MUCH CARNAGE TO INNOCENT HUMAN LIFE, DEVASTATION WORSE THAN THAT OF, RWANDA, A MASSACRE? UNDERSTATMENT, A MUTHER FUCKIN GLOBAL GENOCIDE EFFECTING THE WORLD IN EVERY FACET!!
HOW YOU ASK? HOW IS ANY OF THIS ACHIEVABLE? BY PLAYING GTA:SA!!! YES THAT’S RIGHT KIDS, BY PLAYIN YA GOOD ‘OL COPY OF GTA:SA, SOUNDS SICK NOW DOESN’T? I SAID, IT’S SOUNDS MUTHER FUCKIN SICK NOW DOESN’T IT? YEAH WELL, TRY TELL’IN THAT TO THE SAME PEOPLE WHO BANNED THE GAME FOR IT’S SO CALLED HIDDEN “SEX SCENES/CONTENT”!! YEAH, GO AND FIGURE?
that is exactly, without any equivocations, my point.
how the ball crunchin fuck is GTA:SA lifestyle, and i mean, running around like a total fuckin homicidal maniac that’s just had one to many magic mushrooms on a rampage killing everyone he/she lay’s their eyes on, worse than sex? please explain. cause i don’t muther fuckin understand, well i do and i can comprehend it pretty well too, but i won’t accept it, nor should any other law-abiding adult citizen of this so called great nation.
i look at it this way, if you blow a niggers head off cause he looked at you the wrong way (not that the gta:sa nigger’s or nigga’s have any eye-synch or co-ordination), and then you still his money and weapons, well fuck, we should be able to witness some hooker bouncing up and down on our “character’s” DICK! agree? or giving us a hand job? or a blow job? or if one tit accidentaly flops out of the blouse (not that the game’s AI diversity is that, well.. diverse), then we should be able to sneak a peak? don’t ya think homies?
arm in arm we move, together we go, pitchforks raised! torches lit! and i mean, literally, we set fire to our battery-operated torches (make it look like we’ve put effort into it and were’ve risked arm and limb, i mean, batteries on fire? could be nasty!) and we march toward the Headquarters of the OFLC chanting “RELEASE THE R CLASSIFICATION FOR GAMES CAUSE IT’S SORLEY NEGLECTED YOU PANZY ASS FUCKS”, or if that’s too much, we could just chant “YOU SUCK CHA CHA CHA”, “YOU SUCK CHA CHA CHA”, yeah now were cooking with gas!
point made? what else is there to say?
australia sucks donkey’s ass! most australian’s suck cockatoo cocks! the government, oh the rich rich rip-off merchant sit back in a muther fuckin chair live the high life government muther fuckin politicians absolutely suck cockatoo cocks that sit on a donkey’s ass! and the OFLC? well, they just SUCK!
(some text is supposed to be bold to outline most of the swearing and cursing, couldn’t be bothered in doing so here, see the points i make are validated enough..)