Lessons in advocacy

I’ve been doing queer & trans advocacy for over ten years. As I slowly make my exit from this part of my life, I thought I’d share some observations. Mostly dispelling misconceptions I inherited from media.

“Facts matter”

They don’t to people who need to hear them.

It doesn’t matter how ample the evidence or flawless the argument: you can’t overcome what someone finds uncomfortable. They will never lack for reasons to disregard what you present.

So what do you do? Be conscious of where you spend your energy. Don’t mire yourself in a back-and-forth when your time could be utilized elsewhere.

“People can be convinced”

Not by you.

People will profess to be open-minded, but once they identify you as a “them” instead of an “us”, they will become entrenched in their views. No amount of eloquence or gentleness will overcome this.

So what do you do? If there’s an audience to the exchange, look at this as a vehicle to reach the them instead. If it’s just you and the one person, you can look this as an opportunity to dissuade future opposition by introducing a cost to them sharing such views, such as boring them with statistics. If outreach is valued, be cognizant of trigger words that could take the conversation down a familiar but unproductive path.

“Justice prevails”

Perhaps it prevails in the long arc of history but that’s moot when it’s longer than lifespans or when people are burdened by past wrongs.

So what can you do? You can’t control the world, but you do have agency over aspects of your own life. Create the change you want to see in your own relationships. Find community and meaningful bonds. See a therapist.

“Big change is possible”

What appears on the outset as societal shifts is really the accumulation of microscopic changes.

So what can you do? Avoid getting hung on where things should be. Focus on the tiny improvements you can deliver today. Don’t ask yourself if this is perfect, ask yourself if it’s better from where you were.

Housing first

For adults, isolated acts of violence based on perceived identity isn’t why so many will die premature deaths. It’s poverty, lack of housing, income insecurity, criminalized employment, dismissive doctors, etc.

So what can you do? Keep the focus on housing first, living wages, legalizing sex work, free post-secondary, and poverty reduction.

“HR values diversity”

For human resources, there’s a disconnect between stated ambitions around diversity & inclusion and what they’re willing to do.

At the end of the day, they will not lead culture change or make themselves uncomfortable because they’re scared for their job like anyone else. Don’t expect them to address toxic senior employees or everyday discrimination unless the people they work for also work for these changes.

So what can you do? Focus on delivering small tangible improvements. Ask for forgiveness rather than permission.

“We welcome your views”

Avenues for voicing dissent are always structured so that they can be disregarded. Change only happens when it is of personal benefit to those in charge.

So what can you do? Don’t rely on official pathways to bring about change. Turn to avenues they don’t control.

“Politicians want to help”

Politicians are ultimately accountable to their base and their party leaders. They may believe themselves to be supportive while simultaneously intentionally blocking progress.

So what can you do? Disregard what politicians say and look at what they do. As for conservatives, any measure of inclusion no matter how insignificant will result in baseless catastrophizing. Be open to defectors but don’t dilute the body of the bill on account of a misplaced hope of support. Team up with orgs that have a track record with Parliamentarians, including those with whom you disagree on other issues. Turn to smaller deliberative bodies; these typically embrace change first. Create discomfort for power-makers who ignore these issues.

Legislative victories

Passing a human rights bill doesn’t get food on the table. They’re important markers of progress, but not the end goal.

Legislative endeavours get lots of attention however, and through this, are great ways to connect with new people willing to help in other matters.

So what can you do? Don’t portray legislative victories as the destination, but rather as a notable event on the way to addressing bias. Don’t amend bills to remove protections for the most vulnerable to appease bigots; it’s better for the largely symbolic gesture to fail. Use the interest generated by legislative endeavours to build up the pool of future change makers.

“Courts are impartial”

Those who adjudicate legal matters are no more immune to prejudice than society at large. It’s courts that will block medical care to trans youth or issue longer sentences to black defendants.

So what can you do? I don’t have any advice.

“Journalists are objective”

They aren’t; everyone has a view and it’s impossible to separate it from work. Meanwhile it’s a very narrow demographic that runs news outlets. This homogeneity makes it easy for their leadership to mistake their views for objective and apolitical with all others as subjective and political. What stories they choose to run, who they pick to tell them and how it’s covered is all subject to this bias.

So what can you do? Ignore journalists committed to misunderstanding you, such as from the National Post. Offer to write editorials for mainstream news orgs.

“Doctors/therapists are informed”

The medical profession is not immune to bias. Cishet therapists might encourage parents to admonish a child for their gender non-conforming behaviour while white doctors can under-prescribe pain management medication to black and indigenous patients.

So what can you do? Go with people who have medical appointments who need someone to help self-advocate. Support community members and orgs who are educating medical professionals. Intrude on avenues where professionals have to re-up their skills for credits.

“Police liasons help”

Police liasons exist to improve the image of their employers. They will not address systemic issues.

So what can you do? Pressure municipalities divest tasks normally handled by the police to new entities eg. to handle wellness checks. Fund supports created by and for the communities harassed by police.

“Leadership embraces change”

Departures from the status quo is never initially embraced despite assurances otherwise. Those in power prefer the comfort of familiarity and fear loss. When change does come, it is as a result of years of work by individuals traumatized by the lack of it.

So what can you do? Invite the youngest generation to be part of the solution in your advocacy. Give them genuine decision-making power. Establish boundaries to protect recently traumatized people from abusing each other in conflict. Freshly traumatized people can expect ideological purity from peers and seek ejection when those standards are unmet so dialog about navigating these conflicts from the outset. Advocate for diversity in leadership.

“We can’t afford to pay you”

If they can pay the technician setting up the sound system for your speaking engagement, they can afford to pay you. They are conditioned not to.

So what can you do? Decline invitations from well-funded organizations where you’re not compensated for your labour.

If it’s not free, it’s not accessible

Conversely, if you’re hosting an event, any paywall becomes an accessibility issue preventing the most marginalized from attending.

So what can you do? Get a sponsor or volunteers to make the event free, or go for a pay-what-you-can model. For the volunteers, if the event is for trans folk, get cis folk to donate their time; if it’s for BIPOC individuals, get white people to make the food, etc.

Accessibility isn’t for “next time”

Organizers will create events at an inaccessible venue to mobility devices, either because the washroom is inaccessible, or because there’s stairs, apologize and then say they’ll do it better next time.

So what can you do? Inaccessible venues need to be as much a deal-breaker as if it were operated by white nationalists.

Protests

There’s a misconception that if enough people show up to a protests, leadership will have to listen. That almost never works. People organize these because they feel powerless; that doesn’t change with a few hundred chanting and holding up traffic somewhere.

Protests are, however, a great way to find volunteers, build community, and boost morale.

So what can you do? Use protests to find volunteers and build networks.

“Fighting hate”

What you’re fighting isn’t hate but people’s conditioning to see their needs as normal and others as impositions/wrong. When those people are white, cisgender, straight, without disabilities, have a Christian background, and they’re surrounded by others like them, what they construe as “normal” is narrow.

For things like street harassment or bigoted jokes, perpetrators expect from experience to get desired attention, approbation, or peer bonding. So you’re not just contending with their current lack of consideration, but a history of inaction from their entourage that ended up incentivizing dehumanizing behaviour.

So what can you do? Ditch the word “hate”. It’s not what motivates people when they harm others.

Be constructive

It’s easy to be critical and voice what you see as wrong. But when the recipients of those views are also people volunteering their time trying to make things better than they were, it can be demoralizing and counter-productive.

So what can you do? Pair criticisms with practical solutions, or better yet, offer to do the work.

Learn to let go

There’s no shortage of people with shitty views, so prioritize your well-being.

Furthermore, the current setup that is unfavourable to the well-being of marginalised people is rigged against change. Doing things differently isn’t what would of made the difference, so learn to spare the efforts of your emotional investment. Leave that for the people who matter.

So what can you do? Learn to resist the urge to engage bigots online. Don’t read the comments section. Don’t try to get the last word in. Don’t exhaust yourself improving organizations if there’s another that has already done that work you can move to. Save your energy for the people you care about.

When you’re old, it’s the moments with loved ones that you will cherish, not the time spent arguing with those who were okay with actions that hurt you.