Maëlys McArdle

Category: Life

Every other post.

  • Towards a burn-out world

    Towards a burn-out world

    For the third time in my career in tech, I’m experiencing burn-out.

    Part of it has to do with working at a start-up. But I think much of it can be attributed to what it’s like working white collar jobs in 2023, compared to twenty, thirty, forty years ago.

    The promise of advancing tech was a reduction in workload. Yes it automated straight-forward tasks, but the vacuum did not provide a reprieve. Those tasks were simply replaced with ones requiring a higher cognitive load. Eliminated were the inherent breaks of walking to the printer or now with GitHub Copilot, even writing easy code. I always have to be “on”.

    Then there’s communication. Whereas before you could only have a conversation with one person at a time or spend time drafting a letter – it’s now commonplace to have three conversations simultaneously on Slack. Again, no break. That’s also why I look at Shopify’s derision of meetings with dismay; I get it – meetings can be a waste, but it’s yet more mental pauses eliminated.

    Finally, work used to end with leaving the office. That’s not standard anymore. Like so many in this business, I’m regularly on call and not compensated for it; when I’m not on call I’m still expected to be reachable 24/7, and my days get stretched by the other timezones some of our colleagues are in. Part of that is a scope creep to my occupation; we’re not just writing code but making sure production stays up, while taking advantage of that attention to pump out more features with less testing, causing more downtime.

    I’m so exhausted. On my weekdays, I get up, go to work, and then as soon as I’m done I go to bed. The only time I have energy to do anything is on weekends. And yet I feel fortunate – I’ve watched so many careers outright vanish as a result of automation with nothing to replace them, and more yet face significant reductions in quality of life.

    I feel bleak about it; everything is trending worse not better.

  • I’m addicted to my phone

    I’m addicted to my phone

    I have heard a definition of addiction as being “an increasing and compulsive tendency to avoid, pain, boredom, silence, inner development, and moral responsibility by displacing it with outer stimulation.”

    Jim John Payne, Being at your best when your kids are at their worst

    I’ve been having a good few weeks. I took a five hour trip to Midland to attend their Butter Tart festival. I’ve been on the water with my kayak. I’ve gone to the Fringe Festival and watched a friend perform a one-person show. I went to a small town to watch another pal sing. I attended both Asian night markets. I ate delicious ice cream at a queer vegan snack event. The Great Glebe Garage Sale was a hoot. I participated in a Jeep meet. There’s more I’m forgetting.

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  • Anti-trans mob in Ottawa

    Anti-trans mob in Ottawa

    On Friday (June 9th), a mob of transphobes descended on three Ottawa schools in the west end. They believe that educators are corrupting cisgender children into becoming trans; a reformulation of the old “the gays are recruiting children” trope.

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  • It’s terrorism.

    It’s terrorism.

    Neo-Nazis at Toronto storytelling event

    A week before starting to write this article, neo-Nazis showed up to harass families attending a storytelling event in Toronto. They were incensed that the story was read by a person wearing outfits associated with a different gender. Among the detractors was the leader of the Canadian Nationalist Party and members of White Lives Matter Toronto.

    In the past year, gender diverse people across Canada and those who associate with them at story times like this and other events have faced violence that includes:

    This is terrorism.

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  • Las Vegas

    Las Vegas

    Last week I landed in Las Vegas. This was my fourth time in the city, but it had been a decade since my last stint. Work was paying; it was my second off-site with the start-up I’m at. I got there a few days early and rented a car, a brand new Jeep Compass with 500 miles on the odometer. It was a hell of a trip.

    I arrived Saturday night. I stayed at the Mandalay Bay, before later moving to work-provided accommodations.

    On Sunday morning, I walked the strip, picked up the car, and headed to Hoover Dam and Grand Canyon West with a teammate and their partner. The Hoover Dam was impressive; but Guano Point took my breath away.

    On Monday, the three of us headed to Red Rock Canyon. We found out from a sign on the way that we needed reservations. With a failing cellphone connection, my teammate got the last open slot for us. We bouldered to one of the peaks, getting an inspired view of our surroundings. See if you can spot the rock climbers in the picture below!

    That night, we hit up Hell’s Kitchen, Gordon Ramsay’s restaurant. The venue was fairly tacky, with large monitors showing footage of the eponymous show and it was as loud as a cafeteria despite the low number of tables. The Beef Wellington, however, was just about perfect, making it well worth the visit.

    From Tuesday to Thursday it was meetings. In there was a team dinner and a trip to Omega Mart; a grocery store that wasn’t quite right. A freezer door, janitor closet, and display camping tent led to an alternate reality that echoed something that Aperture Science might dream up.

    On Thursday after work, I hit up the pool, drinking a margarita. I then went to a Penn and Teller show organized by another teammate. It was funny and fresh. On Friday, I toured a bit more of the strip before heading to the airport.

    For all the amazing time this was, I do need to talk about the transphobia. It’s not even May and Republicans have already submitted 500 bills in American legislatures in their aim to eradicate trans people. Meanwhile, having the television on the news a few minutes here and there produced the shots below. The effect of this moment is that I avoided using public washrooms, and dreaded interactions with officials.